Thursday, February 12, 2009

If the internet died...

What would you do if the internet died tomorrow? You wake up, and the internet is just...dead. Forever.

This frightening question appeared as Silver's status message yesterday. And, after my panic attack ended, I decided to answer it.
  1. Remember how to pay bills by check.
  2. Shop by paper catalog and phone, meaning switch the X and the V in the product code and end up with yellow pants.
  3. Read more books...that don't come from Amazon.
  4. Find a local bookstore.
  5. Convert my computer desk into a puzzle assembly area. (The desk is already used to my could adapt to puzzles...maybe...)
  6. Go to the gym...ok, that's just crazy talk.
  7. Subscribe to the local paper.
  8. Go back to not caring what people from high school do now.
  9. Write real letters that I forget to send.
  10. Use the actual books at the law library to look up stuff.
  11. Get rid of my Blackberry.
  12. Write a book.
  13. Tune in to the radio or TV when the weather looks bad.
  14. Buy a set of encyclopedias from a traveling salesman.
  15. Never stop that weird nagging feeling by finding out what else an actor has been in.
  16. Call the movie theater's phone line for movie times.
  17. Actually have to talk to co-workers instead of e-mailing them. Or develop a way to make paper airplanes fly down the hall a la Harry Potter.
  18. NEVER see another chain e-mail telling me that the only way to prove how friendly/loving/Christian/patriotic I am is to forward it to 53 people within 6.7 minutes.
  19. Not know where to purchase Viagra.
  20. Forget how to speak lolcat.
  21. Actually laugh out loud.
  22. Use a travel agent. Or stop traveling.
  23. Miss the season finale to The Guild.
  24. Stop using the words "fail" and "horribad."
  25. Do the Draenei female dance while I'm alone in my apartment.
Hope I didn't scare you too much with that last one.

I'm off to watch Heroes on Hulu and catch up on the xeno forums.

Edit: The xeno forums timed out. Ahhhhhhhhhhh. It's really happening! Noooooooooooooo.


  1. Muahahaha! The End Is Coming!!

  2. If only the Internet died, then I could live a more peaceful life where people could keep their idiocy to themselves.